Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
