let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
