Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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