Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
