For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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