that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
