I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I love you. Go after that dick
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
