next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's never too late to be topless.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
