I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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