seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
