Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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