that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
