I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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