I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I party with great urgency now.
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