youre lurking in front of me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
