We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
