I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
