a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He did a backflip because drugs
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
