dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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