Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
