so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I intend to get homeless drunk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
