You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
