My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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