uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
