I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
