He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
