I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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