He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
