im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
