Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
