i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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