He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
