grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I will be naked everywhere
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
