i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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