So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
