You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
