i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
