# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
