so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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