that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
