I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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