You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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