id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
