Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
