I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you traded sex for a burrito?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
