cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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