saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize