whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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