margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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