i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
