8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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