we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize