Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
how drunk are you?
Several
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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