Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
