I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
