you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
