let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
