he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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