Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize